Thursday, October 30, 2014

What’s With Men and Morning Sex?

And I don’t mean physiologically; that is easily researched.  I mean in practical terms.  For us women, early mornings are for going over the day’s chores, trying to stay warm a little bit longer and for squeezing out that last ounce of sleep.

But as I ponder that dilemma, it dawned on me that there are so many other things in life that I will probably never figure out in my lifetime.

Beginning with this question that the kids constantly ask:  “Where do homeless people get markers?”  It sounds simple enough, but I have never been able to give them an answer.  Think about it – homeless people can always grab a piece of cardboard off the side of the street, but the markers?  And for some reason, their signs are usually boldly written.  I live in a house, and many times I take a marker from the drawer, and it is dry.  Yet, homeless people are able to produce thick, black markers for their signs.  What gives?

While I ponder that one for eternity, I still cannot grasp how people can owe their friends and family money, are not in the process of paying it back any time soon, but have no problem splurging on themselves.  It’s not like the lenders cannot see the borrowers wearing fine clothes, going on trips, driving fancy cars and eating out, while the lenders are still pinching that penny.  I often wonder if it’s not easier to just repay the loan and as we say back home ‘suck salt’ for a while until one is back on one’s feet.  Hey, maybe it’s just me!

And speaking of family and friends……..Why is it so difficult to get their support in an endeavor?  Meanwhile, they are the first to promote some rich and famous celebrity’s latest work to you?  You know the ones – they are on facebook exclaiming how you should support some celebrity’s movie, music, artwork, book or event while they have no time to boost their friends, relatives, neighbors, countrymen, or own people.  Where is the love?

Which brings me to an issue that I keep seeing on facebook:  People taking the liberty of trying to run other people’s lives.  Now if an individual chooses to put a photo on facebook and others do not approve, does that really give them the right to say anything?  Facebook has a Like button under a post or a photo.  The only time the Unlike button pops up is if someone decided that he no longer likes someone else’s post or photo.  Facebook NEVER gives the option to Unlike someone’s post or photo initially.  Sure it asks for your comments, but if you have nothing good to say, just don’t say anything.  It’s really not that difficult.  As a people, we choose to possess things.  For instance, we have many shoes, lots of clothes, few children, plenty friends, cars, you name it.  However, and no matter how much we would like, we only get ONE life to live. 

So, a woman feels like shaving her head…it’s her business.  She feels like wearing short shorts in public…..if she can brave it, give her her props.  A man feels like wearing a muscle shirt without any speck of muscles…more power to him.  Somebody wants to give advice….allow him.  I’m not saying that we can’t find someone’s photo funny.  Come on!  You know I’m anything but hypocritical, but it takes some real cahonas to personal message somebody and give them unwanted advice.  The same photo that you are looking at, they can see it too; so if it’s okay with them, then it should be okay with you.  Now messaging someone to tell her that lipstick is on her teeth, or that her makeup is off, that you should do!

And what is the deal with parents making their kids’ lives better, to the detriment of their own?  The other day, I saw a 66 year old grandmother taking the trash to the curb, with the assistance of her walking stick.  Don’t ask me how I know her age.  You have your stalking tendencies – I have mine!  Anyway, it truly broke my heart because her 34 year old son and 32 year old daughter-in-law live in the house along with their twelve and nine year old children.  It was bad enough when she used to put the garbage on the bonnet of her car and escort it up the driveway, but why is it that taking out the trash is her sole duty when there are FOUR other people quite capable of handling the task?

Speaking of crazy kids, why do they lock the bathroom door when they are inside, but have no problem barging in, sometimes even unlocking the door, when it’s their parents’ turn?  Just size-wise alone (in most cases), don’t we have more to hide?

I’m still bewildered that people still have this thought – it’s not going to happen to me.  Where do people get off thinking that if they speed, they can avoid accidents, whereas others might not?  How come people still believe that they can experiment with drugs and alcohol and not get hooked?  People practice unsafe sex and have the nerve to be surprised when they get pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease.  And as grown as some of them are, they are still surprised by death.  Of course it is usually a shock, but to still think that it only happens to other people is beyond naïve.  Yes, we are all special; but nobody is that special! 

But you know what I will never be able to wrap my head around?  It’s people who expect you to have the same exact beliefs as they do.  And for some reason, they are so sure that theirs make more sense than yours or that you are totally wrong.  As unique as we are as individuals, we WILL have varying thoughts on religion, politics, sexual mores, child rearing, and schooling, just to name a few.

And don’t get me started with this next topic!  The other day, I was reading a book set in the United States and written by a British author.  And like most novels, when a new character comes on stage, we are given a brief description.  It always helps to visualize the character.  Unfortunately, I noticed that a couple token Blacks were thrown in, but I could have done without the gesture because their descriptions were just too vague.  There was a handsome African-American man.  Are we talking Boris Kodjoe handsome or Morris Chestnut handsome?  Then there was a tall African-American woman.  Did the author have Big Bertha in mind or Naomi Campbell?  But as bad that those two examples were, I still cannot get over Dr. Singh.  She was female.  However, the White characters were grumpy, nice, had intense blue eyes, red hair, brown hair and other characteristics that give a vivid picture of who they were.

You know, recently when Raven-Symoné said that she doesn’t consider herself African-American, although she is aware that she is Black, people got all upset with her.  Africa is a continent - not a country.  You don’t hear people calling themselves European-Americans.  First off, people should be free to identify themselves as they see please.  Secondly, the issue I have with the term African-American is that it is just too broad.  I’m Antiguan and an American citizen, so how does that make me African-American?  Just because I’m Black?  Yes, my ancestors came from Africa, but because my legacy was stolen, I have no idea which African country they originated.  Yes, I could speculate, but I’d rather not.  Sometimes when you lose something, you just have to accept the fact that it will never ever be returned to you.  I could assume I’m of Nigerian descent and accept the culture as my own, but what if my ancestors were from Sierra Leone?  If you think that’s okay, then call any random West Indian a Jamaican!  You won’t find a European American adopting the culture of Norway, Ireland or Finland, if he’s not sure which country his ancestors originated.

There are 47 countries in Africa.  It is just laziness to group all Black people as African-Americans because with 50 countries in Europe, White people are not called European Americans.  And since the ancestors of the North African people were not generally enslaved in America, are they considered African-Americans too?  Especially since they don’t look ‘African’.  Maybe it’s me, but things would be so much easier if American citizens were just called Americans.

And lastly, speaking of Black people, I’m still fascinated by the color of our skin, mainly the variety of shades.  It is so amazing that family members with the same genetic makeup can have such varying shades, especially among siblings.  So the complexion I love, and it will always intrigue me, but perspectively speaking, why the hell does it take forever to fix the hair?