Sunday, July 27, 2014

Behold the Thigh Gap

So I have a thigh gap.  I have always had a thigh gap, even as a toddler.  I look back on old photos, and there it prominently stands.  Or sits.  Or lays.  What the heck does a thigh gap do, anyway?  But I just thought it was because I had skinny legs.  And I certainly never thought it was a big deal until recently.  Let me proceed to tell you about the coveted thigh gap.    

A couple of months ago, there was a scandal that Beyoncé doctored a vacation photo so that it appeared that she had a larger thigh gap.  I thought to myself, “That has a name?”  Then I continued, “Why would any woman in her right mind choose to do that?”  I just couldn’t understand why an attractive woman like Beyoncé would want to look like a little boy.  And I’m not saying that everyone with a thigh gap looks like a boy child; I’m just saying that in my opinion, fuller thighs look more feminine, soft and womanly.  And personally, I just always admired them; even as a little girl. 

In fact, I was at the mall recently and saw a young lady with some lovely, feminine legs, and I thought to myself, “My legs will never fill out like that.”  It never occurred to me that what I admired was not what vain people in society thought was attractive until I came upon a news article.  I was shocked to read that people were exercising vigorously, and some were even going under the knife to achieve a thigh gap. 

Are you kidding me?  But what I also realized about thigh gaps is that they are more genetic than anything else.  My daughter has a thigh gap, and she is blessed with muscular legs.  I’m athletic; but she is an athlete.  And it also dawned on me that nothing I can do naturally will make this thigh gap disappear.  But now that I know that thigh gaps are the envy of some people, you know I’m glad that I was blessed with one too.  Hey, I never said that I wasn’t vain!!!

But it also got me thinking:  people tend to want the body parts that they don’t naturally have.  Of course not all the time, because sometimes we are lucky enough to thankfully have or don’t have something that we don’t want or want.  Like I’m not keen on hairy bodies; and as it is, I’m not very hairy at all.  Whew!  Thank God for that one.  And I’m not implying that flat butts are the worst thing anyone could have, but after hearing one girlfriend got teased about sitting on her back, boy was I glad that I didn’t have a flat butt.

And there are even some things that I have that some people go crazy for, and even buy.  My nails grow like crazy, but I hate long nails.  Long nails just get in the way.  You season chicken, then you have to clean all the seasoning out of your nails.  If you go into your garden to pick some vegetables and end up weeding, then you have to spend some time getting all of that mud from underneath your fingernails.  And sometimes they get stained from cleaning products and the likes.  But whenever I complain about having to cut my nails so soon again, I usually hear, “I wish I had growing nails.”  And when I used to sport longer straightened hair, I used to hear the same thing whenever I got bored and cut it.  “Why did you cut your hair?  It was so long and beautiful!”  Well, it’s hair, so it will grow back.  Unfortunately, not everyone’s hair grows quickly, so a lot of people take offense to someone cutting her own hair.

So it’s very common for some people to have something and wished they had something else while other people wish they had that same thing they wish they didn’t have.  That sounds quite discombobulated, so let me get specific - big breasted women are the biggest culprits.  Pun intended!

They complain that their big breasts cause their backs and shoulders to hurt.  They complain that they have to buy expensive bras, if they can even find their size.  They complain that they can’t run on the spot like other people.  They complain, and they complain. But if they know what’s good for them, they better not complain to me.  Sure I can get away with not wearing a bra in public, which I do quite often because as uncomfortable as those things are, I’m convinced they were invented by a man.  Sure I can go running without having to worry about getting beaten up by my girls.  And if I still had it, my first bra from my teenage days could probably still fit. 

But here’s the thing:  unless you are braless and your nipples and belly button are not seeing eye to eye, then you are just sweating the small stuff.  Pun intended!  Of course large breasted women would be happier if their breasts were big and full, but who on Earth can fight with gravity?  Plus, it was your fault for not enjoying them for the few years that they were perky!

So back to the Beyoncé and the thigh gap.  I thought to myself, “If Beyoncé wants a thigh gap so badly, she can have mine, and I’ll take her shapely feminine thighs.”  However, two things stopped me from making the trade.  Beyoncé would look at me and with that husky voice say. “I like dimples as much as the next person, but I prefer them on my face.  And by the way, I don’t care for cottage cheese.”  Yep, I’ve been fighting a cellulite injury I incurred when I ran smack into adulthood.  I guess it was inevitable since I was always susceptible to that, but the older I get, the more difficult the symptoms are to manage.  On the other hand, it’s still nothing that a pair of jeans can’t fix.

Additionally, the last time I wished for something that I didn’t have, it didn’t end so well.  After having my last child, I could still see AND touch my hip bone.  I thought to myself, “Really, Myra!  You have three kids, and you still haven’t filled out as yet?’  Shortly after that conversation, I went to a soca concert, and the lead female singer had that little soft cushiony flesh above her hips that many women possessed.  I thought to myself, “That looks so sexy.  I wish I could get a little meat on my hips too.”  And magically in less than no time, I did.  But what I wasn’t aware of is that that little cushion was the beginning of muffin tops.  And what I also wasn’t aware of is that once they appear, that’s it.  You are stuck with them!  

So now I just try appreciate what I have because perspectively speaking, even if I don’t always like it, there is someone who appreciates it.  Case in point – just found out that my hubby likes my thigh gap.  Who knew!!!