Saturday, May 19, 2012

Corporations Are Not People

And dammit neither are dogs!  People are people; and dogs are dogs.

I was at an event recently when a lady had her dog in one arm and getting food from the buffet table in another.  One of those annoying, fluffy, toy dogs I truly adore.  I was extremely disgusted, especially when the dog’s butt hair was about to touch the food.  But I looked away just in time because I wasn’t done eating and didn’t want anything to come between me and my second plate.  (Okay, if you are not laughing right now, you have no sense of humor, and I just gave up on you.)

Anyway the food was great; and the wine was off the chain.  Since I was alone and driving, I consumed only one glass.  I later learned that the vineyard was 10 minutes from my house.  I promptly bought two bottles.  That winery was my new spot, my new joint (pun intended).  And as I chit chatted with the owner, it felt good knowing that she seemed quite nice too.

My neighbor’s birthday was approaching, and I thought two bottles of that delicious wine would be a good gift.  I arrived at my new hang out only to find out that it opened only on weekends.  Luckily I had another week before her birthday.

After my son’s baseball game on Saturday I was heading home alone when I spontaneously went to the winery.  However in my adventurous mood, I took a different route.  After driving through the winding roads, I gave up and entered my home address in the GPS.  At least I would be able to find the winery store on the way home.  It worked and when I arrived, I added the location in the GPS titling it Winery; after all that was THE winery that I was going to shop at for eternity.

Planning on getting a couple of bottles for my son’s coach, I checked the website for selections.  Once I realized buying six bottles would give me a 5% discount, I didn’t see the harm in getting a couple for my stash also.

Since my hands would be full, I grabbed my credit card, locked the car door and took the keys.  This quaint little winery store is on a hill, and the entrance is at the front, but the office door is near the parking lot.

I had been there twice before so I’m casually strolling to the front when I’m accosted by of all things ……….. a frigging dog.  Not a toy dog or a Chihuahua.  Those I could have easily handled.  But I’m face to face with an unfriendly German shepherd.  Guess no one gave Rufus the memo that this was a place of business and not a private residence.  It now starts to bark at me, so feeling trapped and having nowhere to run, I did the next best thing.

I shouted, “No!  Go back!”  I didn’t want to scream, fearing that it might attack, so I kept shouting, hoping that the owners would come out to my rescue.  It stopped barking but stuck its nose to the ground and slowly came towards me.  I realized there was no way I could run to the car and jump in because it was locked.  Plus, as close as it was, it would have gotten to me before I got to the car. So I decided to steadily walk backwards to the car.

I looked around for a stone.  (I’m Antiguan, and that’s how we do).  But I didn’t see any; so I figured the flower pot in the garden was the perfect alternative.  I reckoned if I just hold it in front of me, that would deter my enemy from attacking.  It wasn’t much, but it was all that I had.

So there I was walking like Bruce Lee or Jet Li (insert your favorite Kung Fu master here) and hoping that my strategy would work, which was getting to my car, leaving the pot on the ground and getting as far away from that place as possible.

Next thing I know, that nice lady I had first met came up to me.  “Is that my plant?” she snapped.  Totally oblivious to her tone, I replied, “The dog came at me.”  She then barked, “What are you doing with it?”  I said, “Defending myself.”  She grabbed it from me, walked back to her office, looked back and said someone would take the dog upstairs.

I got to my car, still not keeping my eyes off that mutt, sat down and thanked God I didn’t soil my pants.  I could easily throw my clothes away, but how the heck would I have gotten that scent from my car.  I would have to leave the windows open overnight, and what if it rained?  Then my problems would be compounded.

As I’m sitting down and forcing my heart back in my chest, she returned to the door and said the dog was upstairs.  I waved at her, returned to my stance then took some more breaths.  After a while I was able to think clearly.  And boy did I think!  

“Did that heifer really think I went through all that trouble to come here and steal a plant?  Seriously, she has no idea.  A) I don’t even know what kind of plant it is and 2) I don’t like plants.  Don’t even care much for flowers.  And who was going to waste gas to come and steal an unknown plant in a temporary flower pot?  And furthermore, she didn’t ask if I was okay.  And she must have seen the look on my face----unless she thought I thought I was busted. ” 

Then I continued.  “She has really put me in a pickle because I knew my neighbor would have enjoyed that wine.  Not to mention that was the best wine I have ever tasted and was lucky enough to find.  Should I just buy the two bottles today and then figure out what to give to my son’s coach?  No.  If I go back in there, I would not be able to be pleasant”

And of course I wasn’t done.  “I wonder if she knows that she just missed out on a $60 purchase (well less 5% discount).  And from a lifelong customer at that.  Shoot, where else can I find local wine?”

I considered going in there and giving her a piece of my mind but realized I was way beyond that.  Besides she probably would have thought I had Turrette syndrome because I would not be able to get past this. 


And that is a word I try not to store in my vocabulary.  So I did what any sane but hurt person would have done.  I started my car, drove home and kept my money, but boy was I pissed. 

I don’t know her heart anymore than she knows mine, but long are the days when my people fought to sit at unwelcomed lunch counters. Perspectively speaking, if I am going spend my hard earned money, I shouldn’t have to fight and cuss anyone to take it.


  1. That was more than funny. I think i wet my pants. I am still laughing! Dogs are not people, but don't ever find yourself in an accident where you and a dog are the victums. Take one guess, who will get life support first, (smile). You have a fabulous mine, keep coming with the perspectives.


  2. The nerve of this woman.... She didn't even ask if u were ok, and "the dog is upstairs?" upstairs where? What the hell is it even doing inside.... So disturbing but totally funny as I pictured myself taking up that same flower pot lol.

  3. Hi There, I found you on Cyber Connect Bloggers. I will definitely follow you. I am happy that you are okay. It is amazing how little regard people have for another human being. Thank you for sharing your expereience.

  4. Visiting from Bodhi's Mews ( now new linky follower.

  5. I'm with you on the dog thing - my brother just got attacked by a German Shepard - even when it was on a leash. He got bit in the hand and the ribs. Dog owners don't realize that: a) not everybody has the same comfort level around dogs; and b) every dog owner whose dog bites says "He's never done anything like that before!" Duh!

    I'm following up from your visit to my site, Mother Daughter Book Reviews. I'm following you now! :) Cheers, Renee

  6. Hi PS, I just followed you. And thanks for following me. It was hard to find your blog. I had to google. I think it's definitely helpful to leave your blog address when visiting new people, so they can follow you back. I'm still new to blog hops. :)


  7. Wow! Costumer care just bombed on that one! Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe people had stolen from her recently and she jumped to conclusions, but that doesn't excuse her behavior. I agree that she doesn't know your heart and that is why we mustn't judge other people. I suppose that means I mustn't judge her either. I'm following you back. Thanks for the follow! Tina (1 of my 5 blogs)

  8. side is sore from laughing!! Thanks for sharing that funny story!!! I'm following back from the 99% exposure hop and the comment you left :) Hope you're having a lovely week!!

  9. Lovely writing style
    Following you bsck from My Funny Mummy and the Blog Hop xx

  10. Following back from Crafty Zoo with Monkeys! Thanks for visiting! BTW, not all big dogs are bad! I'm sorry you had a bad experience!

  11. I think you handled it well. I'm so terrified of dogs, that I wouldn't have known what to do in that situation. You had me laughing at the Bruce Lee moves (I was thinking more along the lines of Kung Fu Panda).

    Definitely, your hard-earned money deserves more. It's not your loss.

  12. Hahahaha, that was hilarious! I'm so sorry that you were accosted by the dog but at least it made for a good story! Thanks for the follow, will happily follow back!

  13. I honestly don't understand people sometimes and I just wish that person could read your post and realize their loss. It stinks you're not going to get any more awesome wine though.

  14. I have to say that I truly appreciated doing the blog hop this week....not just for the bump in my membership, but your comments were just as hilarious as the post.

    Thanks guys!!

  15. I agree with you regarding the dog. That woman lacks customer service skills! So she lost you as a customer and I wonder how many others. Perhaps writing the store a letter of your experience just might open their eyes.

  16. This is by far the funniest. while reading (to myself) i was lol. Lil Myra came in and asked what was so funny. I started reading from the top out loud and so we lol together. Great job!

  17. very funny an yet serious .I don't like dogs because they can be very unpredictable awww well i guess like people:) Enjoyes reading ...You had me scrolling for more.

  18. OMG! This was so funny :)