Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Y’all Gonna Make Me Start Celebrating Father’s Day

Many of you know how I feel about certain “holidays”, specifically Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day.  I have some issues with Christmas and Thanksgiving too, but honestly, any excuse to eat a lot of food is enough for me to set aside my principles.  Plus, those are the two main days that I get to spend time with members of my extended family.

I don’t really remember ever celebrating or even acknowledging Mother’s Day before that fateful one when my mother was laid to rest.  I assume we must have had Mother’s Day celebrations prior to that.  Maybe, maybe not.  That could explain why she was buried on Mother’s Day, and no one noticed.  Or maybe I just don’t recall.

I’m also not sure if I don’t celebrate those “holidays” because I’m an orphan.  And I’m aware that I had a tumultuous relationship with my father during my formative years, but as an adult, he sure was one cool dude.  But it can’t be anything to do with the relationship with my father because my husband is an excellent father, was raised by a wonderful father, and we still don’t celebrate Father’s Day. 

I just feel like every day is Father’s Day; every day is Mother’s Day; and every day is Valentine’s Day.  After all, we are parents every day, and we love each other every day.  But that’s just my perspective, hence the name of the blog.

But for those people who celebrate Father’s Day, for those people who acknowledge Father’s Day, for those FATHERS who feel special on that day, the least the rest of us can do is to give them that respect.

On Father’s Day, Facebook was bombarded with memes and posts about Happy Father’s Day to the mothers who are fathers and mothers.  Because they decide to share everything about themselves, the only person that I know who is a father and a mother is Bruce Caitlyn Jenner.  Too politically incorrect?  Then what else would you call someone who is woman above and man below?  But this is so not about Bruce Caitlyn.  Then there were narratives about deadbeat dads, about sperm donors, about the fact that anyone can be a father but not everyone can be a dad.

I know a whole lot of fathers - in my inner circle, friends, acquaintances, and out of all of them, I’d say 95% are good fathers.  Of all the fathers that I know, only a handful need to step up their game; the majority of them are on point.  They are loving.  They are supportive – financially and otherwise.  They are mentors.  They are hands-on.

I’m not a father.  I don’t celebrate Father’s Day.  However, I was really ticked off this past Sunday from the utmost disrespect that many fathers had to endure about the negativity that many people feel about a few fathers.  For the fathers that I personally know who could work on their game, it’s mainly extenuating circumstances that cause them not to do better.  That’s not to say that I’m making excuses, but at least it’s not like they just sit down and say, “Today, and for the rest of my life, I’m going to be the worst father that I can be.”

Another irritating point is that these fathers just recently had to go through their Facebook and see people bragging about their four year old Pre-K graduation, who is blessed to be leaving Pre-K at four.  They had to see the long essays about how proud people are of their five year old graduates who successfully got promoted to the First Grade.  They had to endure how happy folks are about their 12 year olds who are going to Middle School next year.  They had to see pictures of 15 year olds from their Junior High School proms.  Did these fathers bitch about the fact that these kids were at the age to reach these milestones?  No!  They shared your joy.  Yet, you are the first to combat with that’s what they are supposed to do if anyone says that some fathers go above and beyond the call of duty.

Many mothers out there make mistakes on a daily basis, yet every Mother’s Day, there are more ‘queens’ than at a royal convention.  Mother’s Day already gets a big hoopla compared to Father’s Day, so perspectively speaking, what does it take away from single mothers for fathers to be celebrated on Father’s Day?

1 comment:

  1. Myra you could not have out that perspective any better than you just did .Thank You