Pick me, pick me..........last!

Coming from a large family, I oftentimes wonder about this.  And let’s be clear: it doesn’t keep me up at nights; it doesn’t consume my every thought; but every now and then, maybe once or twice a year, I wonder which one of us is going first.  You know…..there….to that place….the Great Beyond.

Am I selfish for hoping that it won’t be me?  Because there are a few good reasons why I should go last.

First, I’m the youngest, so I should definitely go last – at least second to last, but I’m still vying for last.

Second, I’ve always heard “the good die young”, and over my lifetime I have tried so hard not to be good, that it would be a damn shame if this strategy backfired.

Lastly, most if not all of my siblings are born-again Christians.  How come I don’t know for sure?  Well, I have six siblings, and it’s not easy following their spiritual journeys, which have had different lengths and breaths.  Look it’s complicated.  Go ask them, okay.

I just know that they try to lead Christian lives, while I try really, really hard – don’t always succeed, but I try really, really hard to live by my God-given conscience.  Say what you may, but that life is hard, and life is full of enough stresses as it is, for me to add trying to be Christ-like to it.

First, I live in the Poconos.  That place is cold.  Granted we’ve been having an unusually warm winter, but there is no guarantee it’ll be like that every year.  Can you imagine me wearing sandals all year round?  Can you say frostbite?

Next, the minimalist that I am, can you see me giving away the little clothes that I have and just living off a few meager items?  And that orange dress I wore to my friends’ weddings in 2005, I’m hoping to fit back into that, so you can count that out. 

Speaking of which, am I the only one who wonders if Jesus had lots of robes?  Whenever I see pictures (or alleged pictures) of him, he is wearing either a wrap/sheet or a couple different robes. 

I did mention how cold the Poconos is, right, but I think I’m digressing here. 

But seriously, I wonder if he puts his robe out on any given day and say, “This is the robe I’m wearing today.”  After all, he has to find one that matches his sandals, but since brown goes with pretty much anything, I think whatever he chose would have been safe.

Yeah, you caught that.  I wore that dress to two separate weddings in three months, but who was going to know?  It wasn’t even in the same country.  Smart, right!

But my point is that my siblings are Christians.  They are ones who want to go to Heaven.  They are the ones who don’t have to worry because they will be going to a better place.  I have nothing personal against Heaven, but I really like living on Earth and hope and pray that I have several more decades here.  It has its problems, for sure, but for most part, it’s a really cool place to live.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to lose any of my siblings.  I hope we all live to ripe, old ages.  Well, I hope that is what they want also.  Personally, I’d like to live to 103 years.  But not just that.  I’d like to look like I’m 83 and feel like I’m 63, or else what is the point?  Then a few months after my birthday, I pass away peacefully in my sleep……right next to my husband who will only be 105.

Because God forbid I have to live without him.  And by then, our children will be in their 70’s and able to cope with my passing.

You noticed I say passing and not death, right.  Passing sounds a whole lot more peaceful, don’t you think?

Anyway before you accuse me of blasphemy and want my heretic head on a platter, just remember that I was created in His image, so He must have these thoughts.

And I’m perspectively speaking.