Friday, May 30, 2014

What Goes For the Goose Never Goes For the Gander

I cannot stand that website,  Every time I check out news on, and the story is on, I always get sucked into stories like CELEBRITIES WHO DID THE MOST WHILE PREGNANT, DID YOU KNOW THEY DATED?, CELEBRITY MEN ACCUSED OF SEXUAL ASSAULT and other nonsense like that that I really shouldn’t be interested in.  So when I saw CELEBRITIES WHO’VE MARRIED SECRETLY, I should have, but I didn’t resist the urge.  After all, if they secretly wed, they didn’t want me to know; but if knows about it, then I’m going to find out which ones are still secret to me.

Hence I was shocked to see that Michael Ealy has been married for two years.  How did that slip me?  Oh, because he is extremely private, and rightfully so.  His wife is of Middle Eastern descent, a gorgeous woman by the name of Khatira Rafiqzada.  Since his wife is not Black, I became curious to see what the folks in the peanut gallery had to say.  Among other ridiculous statements, this one caught my eye, “He should have married someone black.”

Okay, I don’t always agree with other people’s logic.  I might get it, but totally disagree.  For instance:  some people think that if they are not feeling well, then they will use their last ounce of energy to clean the house, in case, God forbid, they die, and strangers come to a dirty house.  I’m the complete opposite.  If I’m not feeling well, I’m using my last breaths to watch TV to distract me from thinking that I’m going to die.  And in the event that that doesn’t work, and I do die, I’d be real happy that I didn’t use my last energy to clean a house for people to come and criticize anyway.  First of all, I couldn’t care less what those people thought when I was alive; so I sure as hell will not care when I’m dead.  Plus, if they come to grieve with my family and a dirty house is the only thing on their minds, then they best let the door hit them where the good Lord split them.  So although I don’t agree, I understand that some people don’t want others mentioning how dirty their house is……even in death.

Speaking of death, another logic I don’t agree with is expensive funerals.  I mean, some of these same people would say to you, “You are throwing good money away”, if they see you buying expensive food or something on which they won’t spend a lot of money.  However, they don’t think that buying a casket for $9,000, flowers for $300, a brand new outfit for $200, digging a hole and putting them all in there is throwing good money away.  All they know is that they want to give their loved ones a good sendoff.  But hey, to each his own!

But the logic of marrying someone just because of the ethnicity is beyond ridiculous.  Now Michael Ealy was 39 when he got married, so I’m going to assume that at that age, he had sown all of his oats and was quite ready to settle down.  He had been dating the woman for FOUR years.  Again, I’m going to assume that she was the love of his life, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the woman he chose to bore his children.

And now some random person thinks that he made a bad choice, and he should just find some random Black woman to marry.  Who is this person to tell someone else who he should marry?  It makes no kind of sense to me.  But for some reason, these people who get offended at Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Jamie Foxx and other Black men who are linked to White women, have no problem with Robert De Niro, George Lucas and Roger Ebert.  In fact, they love these men because they seem to date only Black women.  They also have no problem with fictional Olivia Pope sleeping with a married fictional President.  And they swear that Adam Levine had a thing for Tessanne Chin.

I understand the resentment.  If the rich and famous brothers don’t marry the sisters, then how are they to ever get out of poverty?  Oh, make their own money.  If the rich and famous brothers don’t marry the sisters, how are they ever going to feel beautiful?  Oh, beauty comes from within.  It’s actually not that simple because there is some form of rejection there, on one hand; but on the other hand, it’s up to the sisters to find their own paths to happiness.  If you drop the typical Black woman in Alaska, she will sit in her igloo and wait for a good Black man.  However, if the typical Black man ends up in Alaska, the first thing he asks is “Where are the girls?”

If folks can admire the Robert DeNiros of the world, then let’s give the Michael Ealys the benefit of the doubt too.  Let’s not assume that they marry non-Black women because they want their children to have ‘nice’ hair, that they want to lighten their offspring, that they feel like they have arrived, that they are turning their backs on their community, that they don’t love the women in their families or whatever 'logic' one can find.  Plus, perspectively speaking, we should be busy and content enough with our own lives than to worry about the love lives of strangers.

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