Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Paul Walker Dead At 40!

It is always weird when celebrities die, especially suddenly and tragically.  Some people feel like they know them because they have seen them so often and know so much about them.  Some people feel like their lives and those of said celebrities would have never intertwined, so it is a non-issue.  Some people get depressed and mourn their losses.  Some people think, “Who is that?”

I’m not a big fan of movies like Fast & Furious.  I probably watched the first and second ones, in bits and pieces.  Personally, if you have seen one, you’ve seen all.  But to each his own, because I can see myself watching The Best Man - Nursing Home Days.  Yup, I can never get enough of that cast.  So I don’t begrudge people who feel a sense of loss at the passing of Paul Walker.  I, too, invest in certain celebrities and think of them as friends in my head.  One thing I will say about his passing though is this, “Such a waste of some good eye candy.”  Don’t know him like that because I don’t watch a lot of his movies, but I knew who he was, and he certainly was fine to look at.  So that was my shallow moment!

At any rate, this post is not so much about him, but death in general.  When I was 25, I went to my aunt-in-law’s funeral, and I was amazed when some cousins said that was the first funeral they ever attended.  By then I had been to more funerals than weddings.  Granted they did not live in Antigua and wouldn’t have been to some of the funerals I had been to; still that was astounding.  I attended an old spinster’s funeral in my early 20’s, and I believe it was that event that changed my mind about funerals forever.  Since then, funerals have become more lavish, but twenty years ago, I had never seen anything like that.  Her funeral reminded me of the wedding she never had, with the balloons, though black, and all the pomp and substance.  From that day, I vowed to have a funeral as low key as possible.

Every time someone mentions his funeral or death, coincidentally about a week later, everyone else is planning it or talking about it.  I’m not usually superstitious, but I’m not taking any chances, so knock on wood, cross my fingers, cross my heart, the whole nine yards – I’m referring to 59 years from now.  Okay!  Anyway, when my time comes, forget about the flowers, forget about the ceremony, forget about the expensive casket (that might be the cheap side of me talking), forget about people flying in for that day.  Please, please, please, don’t make my funeral (which will occur sometime after December 2072) more eventful than my life.  Love me now.  Visit me now.  Call me now.  Think about me now.  Cherish me now.

Whether you believe that there is life after death or you believe that we are just worm food, I don’t think there is anybody who would enjoy a more beautiful funeral to a beautiful life.  I know this is one of my big pet peeves, but I really get annoyed when someone lives abroad and has no time for her relatives back home, but for the funeral, she returns with her brood and make a huge spectacle of herself.  I might be wrong, but I’m sure Granny would have preferred a visit or two while alive.  Just my opinion (as if there is ever any other), but Granny is not really aware that the funeral is taking place.  This is just for the survivors. 

Or the family members might say, “He had such a good send off.”  Again, I think he would have preferred some of that money used on airline tickets, clothes, flowers and food to cover his living expenses for a month or two or three or four before his death.  Call me cynical, and yes I’ll answer, but using that money for a casket that is going to be rotten in months or years, I don’t really know what they are made from, and I really don’t want to know, could have been better used on the actual life of the person lying in said casket.

So yes, I don’t care if I’m buried in a box, just not a saltfish box.  Heck, I don’t even care if I’m buried, cremated, frozen.  It really is not a big deal to me.  What I care about is life.  The lives of my family, my friends, my neighbors, people in general.  People who were subjected to work on Thanksgiving Day instead of spending that time with family.  (You know I was not going to let that go immediately.)  People who are devastated in natural disasters, but not just while the cameras are rolling – their lives before and their lives after.  People who are subjected to live without proper healthcare, attend subpar public schools, live in subpar housing.  Basically, the lives of my fellow men.

There is nothing more important than life, and all the things that make life worthwhile.  Love, family, laughter.  When I explained what a wake is to my children, my daughter said, “I don’t want anybody having a party and having fun if I’m dead.”  My sentiments exactly.  Have a party for me when I’m alive.  Celebrate my life when I’m alive because perspectively speaking, when I’m gone, the celebration is just for you. 


  1. I share your sentiments on that Myra. Good job. By the way, I too asked who this man was, lol.

  2. One of the classics. I know you have it in you to be versatile, but you threw me for a loop on this one. I do not know Paul Walker and I have never watched the fast and the furious. Actually, I do not like movies that much but I must say I share with you the same sentiments: funeral against life. Enjoy me when I am here. I recently attended a funeral for a young girl 26, she was carried away from the church to the burial ground in a horse and buggy. That was the first time she rode a horse and buggy, and she did not enjoy the ride. I love this piece sister.

  3. By the way, you short changed us in November. One piece is not enough for a month like November. I hope you have more than that for December.

  4. AMEN!!! Couldn't agree more....who the hell wants a party and a whole heap of falderal when they are DEAD and can't enjoy or even smell the damned flowers. Give me my party and roses and whatever else you have for me when I'm ALIVE and can see, smell, hear, party and enjoy myself with friends, enemies, family and total strangers. Life is for LIVING!!