Own Your Truth

Have I mentioned how much I love OWN, Oprah Winfrey Network?  And have I mentioned how much I love Iyanla Vanzant?  If I were a billionaire and founded a network, it would be just like OWN: uplifting, spiritual and insightful.  Of course I would throw some humor in the pot, but I’m not a big reality fan, so most likely sitcoms.  (When I first started this post, Love Thy Neighbor had not debuted as yet, but Oprah somehow got the memo – yes, I’m taking credit for that, although I don’t like the show.)  But you have to start somewhere, so I’ll do the same thing, except I would not have Life with La Toya.  I have never watched it, so I shouldn’t really badmouth it, but I just can’t stand looking at a Jackson nose.  And I don’t know La Toya from Eve, so I’m probably the last person to speak on this, not to mention I don’t want to offend her fan.

And if I was blessed enough to have my own show, it would be exactly like Iyanla’s.  Honestly, Iyanla Fix My Life is the most riveting thing on TV, apart from Scandal, of course.  Because of Iyanla and turning 40, because turning 40 is one of the most liberating things in the world; and if given the chance, everyone should experience it; I have decided to own my truth at all times.  One of Iyanla’s phrases is to speak your truth, own it, say it and accept it.

So the other day, I was talking to a dear friend.  Wait, since I’m owning my truth, I was actually talking to my sister.  But every time they read my blog, they inform me that I write about them.  As many sisters as I have, and as often as we talk, of course I will use some of our material.  But anyhow, we were talking about somebody being conceited.  I tongue-in-cheek said, “I used to be conceited.”  She said, “Used to be!  When did you change?”

Okay, so I still am conceited, but not as conceited as before I realized how conceited I appeared to others.  Or maybe I am just as conceited, but I now curb my enthusiasm for proving how right I am.  Who am I kidding?  I’m still conceited.  But is it really being conceited if you are right?  Like, ALWAYS.  J  Look, the best I can say is if I’m still quite conceited, deal with it, people.  As Iyanla would say, “Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.”

Furthermore, I don’t like the contemporary meaning of the word – having an excessively favorable opinion of one's abilities, appearance, etc.  I really don’t think that’s me.  However I’ll take the old meaning, “having an opinion”.  So I will admit, I’m opinionated/conceited.  In addition, I’m impatient and hot-tempered.  But I’m also funny, generous, accommodating and loyal.  I don’t believe we should only accept the qualities in ourselves that are deemed positive (by others or even by ourselves) and dismiss the “bad” qualities.  We should embrace all of our characteristics.  After all, they are what make us who we are; and no one person is all good as much as anyone person is all bad.

And folks can try to change as much as they want, some things about themselves.  I don’t.  Well I have tried in the past, but it takes so much work to not be me.  Being me comes a whole lot easier than trying to be “perfect”.   What I will do is to try not to display certain traits that others find offensive; well unless they piss me off.  Then I’ll have to go full blown Myra up in here!  I won’t always get it right, but I can only try my utmost.  When all is said and done, if I avoid all the “bad” aspects to make others happy, then it’s only fair that I curb some of the “good” ones too, in order to achieve some kind of balance in my life.  I can only be myself as best as I can and own my truth and accept me for all that I am.  It’s all about the DNA, so if anyone is to be blamed, then it’s my parents and their parents. 

It would be nice if people had only good things to say about each other.  And it certainly would be nice if the people we care about only had good things to say about us.  But at the end of the day, it would be even nicer if we can look ourselves in the mirror and just appreciate and love what we see.  Believe me, there will be some good; and there will be some not so good.  Can you improve the latter?  Maybe.  Not everyone has the capability to change an unfavorable trait.  However, this is nothing to beat oneself up about.  We are who we are.  Some will love us for it, others won’t.  We all know:  it doesn’t matter how nice a person is, not everyone will like her; and it doesn’t matter how nasty a person is, not everyone will hate him. 

For instance, I can be very tenacious.  Some people might find that admirable, while others might find it annoying – especially if they are getting the short end of my stick.  Also, I find humor in everything.  Again, plenty serious people can easily get annoyed by that, while like-minded people look forward to us hanging out together.  If I stop being tenacious and give in just to make peace reign, eventually I’ll be upset with me for not being who I am.  And if I act serious all the time, not only won’t I have as much fun, but I’m simply not being me.  Am I going to act the fool at an important event?  Of course not!  But if something foolish happens, you better believe that I will laugh appropriately…..if I can help.

We have to interact with each other occasionally, and we have to determine how much of any one person we can endure.  So in parting, I say embrace all of who you are because perspectively speaking, when that head hits the pillow at nights (or days, if you work the night shift) the only person that you have to live with is the person whose thoughts are running around in your head.