50 Cents a Day, My ……

If I see one more D-list celebrity pleading for pennies a day to feed those beautiful but hopeless looking black and brown children or to protect those mangy, wound-licking, sad dogs, I will throw my TV out the window.  Look, I love children, (don’t necessarily like being around them all the time) but my hope is that every child is able to live a happy and cherished childhood.  And I love dogs as much as the next person.  Well, not quite.  Not since I spent the last 35 years screaming and running from them.  But I love puppies!!!  So as politically correct as it is to adopt somebody’s abused dog, please don’t look to me because it is not going to happen.

So, as much as I now abhor dogs - and truthfully, that is liable to change anytime soon, especially after petting that cute poodle a few days ago, what irritates me more is the celebrities who are pitching for pennies a day.  Now I have no qualms about giving to charity.  As cheap thrifty as I am, helping people that are less fortunate, downtrodden or experiencing a tragedy has always been what I see as my duty.  And I appreciate that these celebrities volunteer their time and use their status for worthy causes and that the commercials might be free or on the cheap, but I just can’t shake the issues I have with them. 

First off, after administrative expenses how much money goes towards the starving children and abused animals?  Secondly, who are they to tell me which causes to donate my money to?  Thirdly, why do they seem to act as if we TV viewers are heartless creatures who need to have our heartstrings tugged at in order to have pity on helpless victims?  Fourth of all, they need to stop giving the impression that only black and brown children from Third World countries are the only ones starving.  And lastly, how come they don’t appeal to us to attend their Hollywood soirees?  They look directly into the cameras at us and pretend that we are best friends when they solicit money from us, but they don’t remember us when they get invited to their fancy parties.  So really, the last reason is the one that I have the most issue with, and the fact that I can’t deal with the theatrics…….but mostly the last reason.

But seriously, check it out:  they appear dressed down on TV, asking for pittance.  Then they go out all dressed up in expensive clothes to expensive parties with their expensive friends.  Here’s a thought.  Instead of asking people who are less fortunate than you for pennies to help people who are less fortunate than they, why don’t you just go to your celebrity friends and get dollars, thousands of dollars from them?  Maybe that would help the problem a lot quicker.  And the next time you go to one of your soirees, why don’t you just ask your friends to donate all that money they would have spent on entertainment to help “that child”, Alyssa Milano.  And I know you are not the only one, but you were the last one after Sally Struthers begged for money to help the starving kids and ended up eating all their food.  What gives?  So we are good enough to give money, but not good enough to hang out with them at these parties?  Well then, how about they just stick with their hoity-toity, rich friends and leave us alone so we can watch them on TV without any interruption.

And what is the deal with the big department stores asking for $1 for charity?  What, I can’t find a suitable charity on my own?   First they started with us donating our change.  You know me, after I spent $3.96 at JCPenney for something that had cost about $20, as cheap thrifty as I am, I wasn’t going to haggle over 4 cents for the neighborhood YMCA.   That would have been low…..even for me.  But I wish department stores would stop asking me to donate money to charity or stop telling me that they’ll match my dollar.  How about this Mr. Executive at the Big Department Store?  Put a sign out telling me that you donate money directly from your coffers for clean water in some Third World country and maybe, just maybe I’ll come in your store and help support the cause.  I say maybe, but you know my cheap thrifty ass still won't shop at Nautica no matter how worthy a cause they support.  But at least, I won’t suck my teeth and roll my eyes every time I pass the stupid sign about my giving $1 so they can provide clean water to needy people. 

I mean these are the same companies that are making the big bucks; okay many of them, because really some of them are in the toilet.  JCPenney had to call back customers to their stores after they came up with that one price idea.  Who the heck is going to a store when the price is the same forever?  But tell us bargain hunters that they are giving us $10 off, and we put everything on hold, rush to the store and lo and behold, our eyes set on one thing, then another; and before you know it, we have purchased $300 worth of stuff that we never intended to.  Okay, again not me, because you know if they say $10 off $25, I'm doling out only $15; but you get the drift.

And speaking of Third World countries, I’ve had pen pals from all over the globe when Big Blue Marble or whoever gave us addresses, and I have never seen anybody who looked like they were accustomed to flies buzzing around them.  I’m not saying that it doesn't happen because there are slums and intense poverty all over.  But please don’t think for a minute that I’m going to give my soft earned money, (remember I don’t get a paycheck) to people who have a reputation of abusing charitable donations.

People listen to me.  I’m not saying that 50 cents a day can’t significantly help someone in a dire situation, but perspectively speaking if my 50 cents a day perpetually is what it takes to support a hungry child, I want to see more documentation than a letter that Sister Maria wrote on behalf of all the kids and then throw a photo in the envelope for good measure.