The Bald, Skinny, White Guy with the Big Moustache

That seems to be the only person we are now allowed to poke fun of without being called a bigot, a racist or a bully.

Of course I do not condone meanness, (well unless it’s REALLY funny), but why is everyone so politically correct nowadays?

Why can’t I make fun of someone who did something funny?  Why does everything have to be analyzed?  Why, if an individual has a specific trait, it will be deemed as if someone is making fun of him for that reason and not for the joke?

Here is a typical example:  In my former life when I worked in Manhattan, if I arrived at work at 8:59, I thought I was early.  If I opened my office door at 9:00, I actually thought I was on time.  However, come 11:55, I was putting my lunch in the microwave so that I can eat no later than midday.  And you better believe I was taking my entire lunch hour.  This nonsense of working through lunch or skipping lunch altogether was not my cup of tea.

Now what if my manager had said, “You know, Myra, I notice that you are never early for work, yet you are never late for that date with your fork.”  Nobody would blink an eye because I’m considered normal weight.

But can you imagine the trouble she would have gotten into if I were 100 pounds heavier?  Why does that statement have to be tailored for different sized people?  Why can’t it be true for anyone who doesn’t miss a meal?

And since alcoholism, addiction and obesity are considered illnesses, the field of what people can joke about is being narrowed constantly.

If a man makes a little joke about a woman, he is instantly called a misogynist.  Now there are some things a man should NEVER call a woman…… Rush Limbaugh.  However, if a joke is funny and not mean-spirited, it deserves a laugh.

For instance, my brother told me this joke, must have been nearly 30 years ago, and to this day I still think it’s the funniest thing I ever heard.

A man is walking down the road with a box of saltfish on his head.  He passes a blind man, and the blind man says, “Good morning, ladies.”

Tell me that’s not funny!  No one can take offense to that.  It’s not saying that in general women smell; it’s just implying that any woman can relate to an aquatic moment or two.

I guess the problem arises when folks generalize.  Like not all black people are habitually late.  I have sisters who will show up 30 minutes early to an event and feel as if they are running behind.  Are you kidding me?

We also cannot assume that every white person is interested in bungee jumping.  I might not know them personally, but I’m sure there are a lot of them who would not even consider anything remotely close to that.  And trust me, they do not all go into a strange, empty house and call, “Hello, is anyone there?”

Now there are times when a joke is too soon.  I would really lay off the blonde jokes for a while after that model walked into the plane’s propeller and lost an eye and an arm.  If she were fine, maybe it would be okay; but there is nothing amusing about that at all.

And there are some things that will ALWAYS be too soon.  A couple years ago my neighbor complained to me that her son is always getting dogs then doesn’t want to clean up after them, leaving her stuck with the task.  Then she exclaimed to me, “Does he think I’m a few shades darker than he?”

Ouch!  What could I have said to that?  “Well don’t expect me to do it?” 

And a few years ago, in my other life as a door to door investment salesperson, a prospect said to me, griping about his tenant.  “You know, sometimes it’s better to rent to a black person because they keep your place clean.” 

Double ouch!! 

On both occasions I simply said nothing.  It’s not my job to teach grown people to be sensitive.

Now at my neighbor’s party when the plastic chair just broke under a guest, would it have been funny if it were a skinny person?  Maybe a little, but this woman was overweight, and the chair just crumpled under her.  Look, it might have been defective from the get go, but it was damn hilarious.  The only thing that made people not laugh out loud was the fact that she didn’t fall.  But then again, I always laugh when ANYONE falls.  And it wouldn’t have been mean – it just would have been funny watching it happen.  That’s all.

And, make no mistake about this:  I’m not sticking up for the white man.  After all, he runs the world.  He is in charge of everything and clearly doesn’t need my help.  I just refuse to participate in the hypocrisy.  Not to mention, I’m black.  I’m a woman. I’m an immigrant-------without a British accent.  If anyone knows what it feels like to be disenfranchised, it’s me.  I’m just saying that we cannot be so sensitive to every little thing, especially when we do not care about other people’s feelings, yet protect ours to the core.

Plus perspectively speaking, the bald, skinny white guy with the big moustache has feelings too!