Go Daddy

I do not consider myself an animal lover.  It’s not that I hate animals.  Well, except for cats.  Well, except for Stripes, my sister’s cat.  I profoundly hate that cat!!!  Don’t like him.  He is mean-spirited, spiteful and wicked.  He has attacked me, and without provocation I might add, and too many others, for him to ever be considered a sweet cat.  I swear I never messed with that cat because I had seen what he was capable of doing.  Granted I never really liked cats in the first place, so there was no reason for me to even acknowledge that creature. 

The only bad thing(s) I ever did to our childhood cat was to lift him a few feet above the ground and drop him.  But it was for research; I wanted to see if cats really do land on their feet no matter how high you drop them.  The theory was proving right until I dropped him a few inches above ground level and realized that it all depends on how high the drop is.  Oh and I used to put him in a bag and spin it around, let him out and see if he could walk straight.  That too was for research.  I had heard that it didn’t matter how much you spun a cat around, it always had good balance.  But other than that, I am ALWAYS kind to animals.

After all, I love puppies, especially fluffy ones.  Would I own a fluffy puppy at this point in my life?  Hell, no!  I just don’t have time to take care of another living being at the moment.  Or any other moment in the future, I might add.  Have I owned dogs?  Oh yeah.  Have I loved dogs?  Very much so.  Do I like dogs now?  Not really.  I don’t particularly like other people’s dogs because I’ve been attacked by too many.  And by attack I mean been run at, been growled at and been barked at. 

But to be a member of PETA, to announce that I love animals more than I do people, to stop eating animal products, it’s just not that serious for me.  I will not condone the senseless acts of cruelty towards animals, but there is no way I’m going to lay down my life for an animal.

So when there was an outcry from ‘animal advocates’ about the Go Daddy Super Bowl ad featuring a lost puppy that returned home safely, only to be told by the owner that she just sold him online, I’m sorry but I just didn’t see the tragedy that ‘animal advocates’ saw.  And I use the term animal advocates loosely because I have never seen any of them stopped their car, got out and checked on the half dead skunk on the side of the road.  And I can’t imagine that they would give a dying skunk mouth to mouth or take him to a vet.  And living in the Poconos for 10 years now, I have never heard of any group protesting the hunting of deer or any other animal.

The puppy looked healthy to me.  I have no reason to assume that the owner/business woman was holding that puppy under bad conditions.  Were I to purchase a puppy, and I Googled and saw that a puppy like that was for sale, I would be inclined to purchase that puppy online.  Not everyone who sells a puppy online is part of a sadistic puppy torturing club.  Like many small entrepreneurs, some people just use the Internet as a method of doing business.  We go to amazon.com and purchase a plethora of items, and some of them we use on ourselves and our children and even on our precious pets, so what’s wrong, pray tell, with buying a pet online?

I have seen those ‘philosophical’ questions like, “If you have to save your favorite pet or a person from drowning, who would you choose?’  Allow me to answer:  If I had to save my beloved dog, Portia, who I loved more than any pet I ever had or Donald Trump, who I despise more than any individual on this planet - don’t ask why – he just rubs me the wrong way – and I could only choose one of them, without even thinking, I’d choose the Donald!  Portia was a dog.  At times, my morals might be questionable in other people’s eyes, but for Pete’s sake, I’ve always credited myself with having great values.  There is no way on this Earth, than any pet should come before any human being.  Sure, Donald is the biggest richard out there, just a tad above Kanye West, but at the end of the day, he is still somebody’s father, somebody’s brother, somebody’s cousin, somebody’s baby at one point.  He is still a human being.  And as obnoxious as he is, no animal should ever come before him.

Anyway, after Go Daddy placed that ad online just before the Super Bowl, just like Budweiser did this year and last year with that cute puppy and the horses, all hell broke loose, just like those horses did in the Budweiser commercial when that cute puppy went missing.  But whereas the cute puppy in the Budweiser commercial returned safely home to play with the horses for the rest of its life, the Go Daddy puppy returned safely only to be sold.  And that did not sit too well with animal activists.  They signed petitions.  They bitched.  And voila, Go Daddy pulled the ad for the Super Bowl AND apologized!

Well, who the hell do BLACK ACTIVISTS have to holler at?  Where is a petition for us to sign?  Who do we bitch to?  What do Black people have to do to get an iota of respect in this country?  Dammit, even a frigging Golden Retriever gets more love than us?  What the hell!!!  And no, I’m not marching.  You see what that did to Al Sharpton, right?  I’m already 135 pounds to begin with.  I can’t lose that much weight.

It cannot be about money alone because as of a year ago, African Americans had $1.1 trillion in buying power.  And as much weave as I see my sisters wearing, that figure must have gone up to $1.5 trillion; and I’m being generous here.  We make up almost 15% of the population of the United States, coming in at about 50 million people.  So we also have the numbers.  The President of the United States is Black, and so is the Attorney General; ergo we have some kind of power, along with 9% representative in Congress.

Just last year, the Hollywood It Girl was an African with a complexion the color of my keyboard and naturally short hair that no one would describe as curly.  She is just as beautiful as many girls I grew up with or came into contact with; but the world thought her beauty was a breath of fresh air.  So we are gaining in this world.  But for some reason, overall, the color of our skin, the texture of our hair, the fullness of lips and hips deter us from gaining the respect that we deserve; and as long as I live, I will never truly understand why, so perspectively speaking, don’t ask me to sign a petition for the protection of any animal while my people are becoming an endangered species.