Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Be Careful What You Wish For

It was me.  It was all me.  I have only myself to blame.  It was totally my idea, and I cannot fault anyone else for the outcome.

So we had a trying year, rough enough that I felt we deserved a reward.  In spite of their extracurricular activities, the kids managed to do well in school, and hubby continued to put those long hours in.  And I, well I put up with everyone else’s crap, so I figured we ALL needed a vacation.  Well, what happened was, I found out that we had a week’s vacation through the timeshare from 2011 that will be expiring in September.  We agreed on a destination to which we could drive, one with lots of outside activities.

The customer service representative told me that New Bern, NC was available for the dates I had in mind.  I wanted to go before the twins started soccer (or what I call football) and my youngest started football (or what I call American football).  How was I to know that the kids’ schedules allowed no down time?  It turned out that my daughter had summer basketball, and my youngest tried out and made the Baseball All Star Team.  The summer basketball was no biggie, but the baseball was major.

I started feeling badly about him missing practices since it was every day, so I conjured up this bright idea:  what if he stays with the coach and just the four of us go on vacation.  The twins thought it was a good idea.  I knew it was an excellent idea.  After all, if I’m going on vacation, I really don’t want to have to scream and holler and fret for the whole week.  Plus, I knew once he was with other people, he would be on his best restaurant behavior.

Then the day of the first game, I heard a mother saying that there would be two games the following week.  Oh snap!  There is no way I would feel comfortable with him missing a game, much less two.  They lost that first game, but he played exceptionally well, and I thought to myself, “They are depending on him.  I would feel real badly if he went on vacation, and they lost all their games.”

I mentioned my bright idea to my husband and was instantaneously shot down!  Dude didn’t even give it a second thought.  Well, not quite; after he thought about it, he said, “One of us will have to stay with him if that is the case.”  I knew I wasn’t staying, so he said he would.  Well, that would defeat the purpose of a family vacation, so I dropped the issue.  But in my mind, I’m thinking there has got to be a way.

After the game, I asked my husband if he let the coach know that we were going on vacation tomorrow.  I would have told him except I was incapacitated for a few days.  Yep, I scheduled my big summer cleaning session the first week after the kids were on vacation, but I guess the Universe had other plans for me.  Day Two into the cleaning, I went to the Emergency Room.  Okay guys, I’m fine, so don’t worry.  It was serious enough for me to be hospitalized for three days but not that serious that a priest was called to read my last rites.

And before you feel slighted that I didn’t tell you I was in the hospital, I now know why people don’t broadcast their illnesses or hospitalizations.  It’s not that they are secretive, well not in my case.  This is what I think – well this has been my experience.  Someone close to you will coincidentally run into a third party that you haven’t seen/spoken to in a while and mention it.  Then before you know it, that third party is calling you, quite concerned, of course, but inquiring about you and the next thing you know, apart from the 10 people in the hospital that you had to review your symptoms with, you are now going over them again with 100 laypeople.  Then you have to hear people telling you to take care of yourself, as if that wasn’t what you were doing all along.  And you have to listen to people telling you to be careful, as if a hypochondriac like you could be any more careful.  I promise, I don’t think any doctor would say this about me – if only she had come in sooner.

So the next time I’m hospitalized, I’ll just wait until I’m out to tell everyone, and I mean EVERYONE.  Case in point:  a few years ago I had to do surgery on a particular female body organ, and I neglected to mention it to one male neighbor whose daughter stayed with my children after school.  (I’d say kids, but if I hear one more time that they are not baby goats, I’m gonna scream).  When he and his wife found out, they were offended.  Now this guy and I are not buddy buddy, how the hell was I going to broach the subject without him asking me what’s wrong?

Anyway, back to my bright idea.  My husband went to tell the coach that we were leaving for a week.  When he returned to the car, he said that the coach suggested he spoke to the head coach because of some protocol that I obviously overlooked when I booked the vacation and didn’t realize it was going to coincide with baseball.  To make a long story short, my husband said well if someone could take him for the week, and the coach volunteered.  My son was happy.  The coach’s son was happy.  The coach was happy.  The twins were happy.  I was ecstatic.

We got home and packed his bags, and I tried to complete five days worth of cleaning in one day.  I don’t have to mention that I fell short on that one, but then we eventually set off for our vacation.  I didn’t get much sleep because I figured that my husband would drive first, while I slept, then I could relieve him.  As we were packing, I was real testy with the twins and my husband, and at first I didn’t know why. 

However, by the time I got in the car, it hit me.  Every corner he turned, I jumped up and asked if he was okay or if he was awake.  Every time I fell asleep, I startled myself with thoughts like:  what if something happens to my son while he is with the coach; what if I am not fully recuperated and relapse on vacation; what if the four of us die in an accident and the coach has to relay the news to my son; how will my sisters get to him since they don’t have the coach’s information.  They don’t even know he was not with us.  Full blown panic attack had set in!  As these crazy thoughts bombarded my head, I couldn’t sleep.  I couldn’t relax.  I was of no use to my husband when he was ready for me to drive.

After a while I calmed down and took over the driving.  We got to our destination safely, and for almost a week, I rested.  I NEVER had to say STOP, BEHAVE, DON’T DO THAT.  I never had to remind anyone to brush his teeth or send anyone to take a shower. 

When we played tennis, no one slammed the ball over the net or dropped the ball short, causing the opponent to dash for it; no one hit the ball out of bounds and still claimed the point because the ball went over the net.  When we played basketball, no one fought.  When we went to the beach, I wasn’t anxious about anyone walking away.

But during all this calm, relaxing, fun time, a huge piece of me was missing.  I enjoyed myself but with a mega whole in my heart.  And I thought to myself, which is worse: having to deal with a child that drives me crazy 24/7 or missing him terribly?  So I remind you to be careful what you wish for because perspectively speaking the prize is not always worth the price you have to pay.


  1. lol. but seriously just think of how you were as a child... They are all yours Miss Softy. Take the good with the bad.

  2. That's a good blog

  3. Seriously Myra how could you possibly lie to all your Sisters if you hospitalized?Hmmmm .Great blog