Saturday, October 6, 2012

Congrats To Me!

Today marks my 12 year anniversary in the coveted club of motherhood.  Yep, it’s the twins’ birthday.  I can just hear some of you, “Twelve years is not a big deal.  I have grandkids older than twelve, and I’m younger than she is.”  I kid. I kid.  But seriously folks, a big shout out to all the young grandmothers.

The reason why it’s a big deal for me is because there were times when I wasn’t sure I would make it this far with my sanity intact.  I don’t have to reiterate how difficult parenting is…..I have done that in previous blogs. 

For years my sisters would suggest that I just relax and stop fretting over the kids, but my answer was always the same.  “It’s a whole lot easier dealing with one easy child than three rambunctious children.”  But today it hit me!  If I have been on this job for twelve years and am still on the same level, then maybe it’s not the work that is difficult, maybe it’s me that needs to tackle the work from another angle. 

So although there will still be days where I won’t feel like working, days where I might call in sick or even days where I might strike, I will relish even more the days where I look forward to the job, the days where I can say I had a great day at work, the days where I cannot wait to get to work.

Plus, twelve years ago they weighed 8lbs and 2 oz combined.  Today, they are almost 200 pounds together.  I’m 5 feet, 3 ½ inches tall; okay the ½ I borrowed a few years ago, and I’ll be damned if I ever give it back.  But in a few years I won’t be able to talk to these kids any way I want without getting a smack down.  I kid again.  They can’t be that crazy, right?  But seriously, who wants to be 16 and have their crazy mother scolding them like they are still six years old?

So as I pivot to preparing to have teenagers around, I will try to focus more on our mutual interests and stimulating conversations and not on what they haven’t done or were supposed to do. 

As a political buff, it’s a joy having people in the house who are willing to oblige me, since somebody who shall remain nameless has no interest and just wants to know where and when to show up on November 6. 

And with whom else can I delight in a conversation like this?

Me:  Look whatever Bill Clinton did in the White House was between him and Hillary.  I’m not his wife.
12 yr old son:  Yeah that’s what my teacher said about Tiger Woods.  He likes him as an athlete, but he’s not getting into his personal business.
Daughter:  He had four girlfriends, right?
Me:  More, he had about 15.
10 year old son:  Woo, that’s a lot!
12 yr old son:  At least that is not illegal.
10 year old son:  What’s illegal?  16?


Although he is not always up to speed with the twins because he is two years younger, other times he is way beyond his years.  Like the other day this transpired.

Him:  Tyler is not playing basketball this year.
Me:   Is his father still going to coach you guys?
Him:  I’m not sure.  I just hear that he doesn’t want to play this year.
Me:  Gee, I wonder if his father will still coach the rest of you.
Him:  All I know is word on the street says that he’s not playing this year.

The other day he and I were watching TV, MSNBC of course, and we had previously heard Mitt Romney bitching about President Obama wanting to redistribute money from Romney’s rich friends to Obama’s lazy, welfare cousins. (Recognize that I’m paraphrasing.)  So when Romney stated another day that he is for school vouchers, and he will take money from the federal government and give it directly to parents so they can send their children to the schools they want, my baby, my 10 year old son said, “Isn’t that redistribution too?”

Yeah like any relationship, we will have days where we get on each other’s nerves.  We will annoy each other.  And everyday won’t be Christmas, but I know that once we keep the lines of communication open, once I continue to put myself in their shoes, once I try my best to respect  them like I expect them to respect me, then I believe they will have a better transition to young adulthood and then full independence.

Not to mention that they are also developing on an intellectual level that I have to take into consideration.  A few weeks ago I purchased some sports clothing for the kids.  My youngest came and asked if he could wear a shirt.  Normally, I would say to wait. Instead I replied, "Go ahead.  Life is short."  Later, he wanted to use the brand new basketball socks although it was soccer season.  Again I said, "You know what, why not.  Life is short."  He quipped, "I'm not dying, am I?"

So yes I will have a glass of wine to celebrate my milestone because perspectively speaking, do you know what is better, and by better I mean infinity times better than bitching and yelling and stressing myself out constantly; it is having my 10 year old son asking me to peel a tangerine for him because and I quote, “The last time I peeled one, it was an epic failure.”


  1. Congrats to you:) I like your parenting philosophy of keeping lines of communication open, and putting yourself in their shoes. I think that's a good recipe that more parents should use.

  2. Sorry I'm late my dear, but it was worth it>

  3. Laugh my head off @” After the Underwear Bomber failed to detonate his bomb, why weren’t we banned from wearing or removing our underwear before boarding flights?” TRUE.. TRUE.. GREAT JOB!!! & CONGRATZ on your 12 yrs. Anniversary I am approaching 15 myself (WOW!!! Just seeing this in print makes cringe) Am with you, I do believe in keeping the line of communication with your kids open (Lord knows there were no line for me much less keeping them open)